


Kidnap My Heart

by gala_apples



Category: Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:26:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: Ferris will stop at nothing to get Cameron to blow off school, up to and including kidnapping. Lucky for Ferris, Cameron is secretly into it.





	Kidnap My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kidnapping/interrogation prompt for seasonofkink.

Cameron takes in the fucked up appearance of the Ferrari and chuckles bleakly. “Dented the shit out of it. Good! My father’ll come home, he’ll see what I did. I can’t hide this. He’ll come home, he’ll see this, he’ll have to deal with me. I don’t care. I really don’t. I’m just tired of being afraid.”

Cameron doesn’t know what to do. There’s this great festering thing inside him and he’s cracked the seal on it, enough that he’s both kicked the shit out of his dad’s most prized possession, and totally lost control in front of the two people whom he actually cares if they respect him. Kicking the car again seems like a good option, but instead he breaks apart a little more. He drops to his knees and repeats “I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

“Then don’t be,” Sloane replies. “Do exactly what you want to do.”

Cameron paces in front of the California Spyder. She’s got good intentions, but the comment is realistically insane. There’s a difference between taking a stand and not letting fate and bullying adults decide the course of his life, and actually following every whim he has. Right?

For lack of better things to do, he reaches into the car and turns it to park. Cameron pulls the keys out of the ignition and pushes them into his pocket. And then he decides to completely lose his mind. “I want to have sex with you both.”

Sloane stares at him. He can’t blame her. Stone-faced shock is probably the best outcome he could ask for. 

Ferris shows his shock in his own style. He comments in the way that he sometimes talks to no one, “I have to say I didn’t see that coming.”

Cameron shrugs. He’s been through a roller coaster of shit today. He loses them now, or he loses them in two months for college. Is there really much of a difference, when played against the infinitesimal chance that they’re not horrified and let him watch them have sex? 

Except, as always, the universe likes to fuck with him. Sloane’s face shifts from a facade of shock to a goddamn _smile_ , of all things. “I don’t really see anything wrong with it. As long as you know that me and Ferris love each other.”

“Excuse me. What?” Cameron can feel his eyes bugging out of his face. Not one hundred percent disgusted, only ninety nine percent, Cameron had the slightest chance of receiving. Actual indifference is mind boggling.

“If you’d give me and Sloane a second,” Ferris says firmly, and hustles his beautiful girlfriend outside. Cameron doesn’t attempt to eavesdrop. He easily could, they’re no further than the driveway. But what’s the point? It’s not like he’s not going to find out exactly how his best friend feels a minute or two from now. Ferris Bueller has never been the type to leave things unsaid.

“We can’t do it today,” is what he says coming back into the garage. Those aren’t the five words Cameron was imagining. Something more along the lines of ‘I hate you, gross creep’. _We can’t do it today_ is totally baffling.

“What?”

“Well, I have to be getting home soon. Like right away. Mom, Dad, Jeanie... They’re all potential threats. I have fifteen minutes at most. It’s not enough time to do what we all deserve. It’ll just have to be on the second best day of our teenage lives.”

“You’re explaining the wrong thing,” Cameron manages to say.

“I’m confused. And apparently you are? Sloane, do you know what’s happening?” Ferris laughs.

“I’m going to guess that it was more of a ‘what’s going on, I’m actually getting what I want’, not a ‘what why not now’. But yes, Cameron. We’re willing to try this. As long as it’s sex, not love. You understand that, Cameron, right?”

It’s less that Cameron understands, and more that he’s willing to fake it. Never, even in his wildest dreams, has he ever thought he could get all of Ferris’ attention. Relationship based half measures are sort of his standard of life. “Yep. Yeah. Just a one off.”

“Or an until September off, if all goes well. But I really have to leave now.” 

Ferris bends down slightly to kiss Sloane, and for a minute nothing has changed. It’s just Cameron Average Joe Frye watching the most beautiful girl and the most beautiful boy in the world make out. And then things rapidly change, an exponential curve of change, because Ferris comes to him and stands on his toes to plant his lips on Cameron’s. It’s all Cameron can do to not grab him by his leopard print vest and hold Ferris against him forever. It’s too much, he knows it’s too much, he _just_ promised to not be too much. But God does he want to. 

In the next two minutes, Ferris leaves in a hot sprint. In the next ten, Sloane calls a taxi. In the next two hours, Cameron’s father comes home and all but kicks him out of the house for denting his car. In the next three, the entire family is sitting in his father’s office, calculating how much of Cameron’s college tuition can be redirected to car repair without actually going through the shame of a Frye not attending college. 

Five hours after everything, Cameron is punching Sloane’s phone number into the keypad on hanging in the kitchen. Yes, he has a line in his bedroom, but his bedroom is near the office. What it says about his family, who knows, but he’s honestly much less likely to be overheard while in the kitchen. He can’t even remember the last time they had a meal together that wasn’t in the formal dining room.

“Sloane. I can’t do it,” he says as soon as she picks up.

“Do what? Wait. Do you mean the threesome? Because-”

“No, actually. I still super want to have sex with both of you. But I can’t skip class again. He’s going to make me skip class again, isn’t he.”

“Yeah,” Sloane says sympathetically. 

“We can’t just do it after school?”

“No.”

“I don’t want to skip.”

“I know.”

Cameron hangs up on her. Fuck. This is very stressful.

It seems like it’s no time at all until morning. His father’s long gone by the time Cameron gets out of bed. Wall Street waits for no one. Mother is still home, of course, planning the itinerary for whatever luncheon she’s having. Cameron pours a bowl of cereal and watches as the milk softens and eventually disintegrates the flakes, never touching a bite. He can’t eat, knowing the phone call that’s coming. 

Sure enough, at approximately the time Mr and Mrs Bueller leave for work, Cameron’s phone rings. He doesn’t want to answer it, but of course he has to answer.

“Come pick me up, Cameron. We’re gonna go over to Sloane’s. She has a better bed than either of us.”

Cameron has not actually seen Sloane’s bed before. The Petersons are pretty firm on their no boys in the bedroom policy. Ferris only gets his opportunities by being the most manipulative son of a bitch Cameron knows. Not to Sloane, of course. He loves her, and like Sloane would ever let anyone force her into something. No, Ferris manipulates time and space, until the threads of the universe themselves are unravelling and reweaving to give him what he wants.

“No, I can’t. Not two days in a row.”

“They won’t even notice. You’re on actual sick days, Sloanes out for tragedy’s sake, and I kept up appearances. It would make less sense to attend than not.”

“No. I won’t pick you up, we can do it after school.”

“Cameron Frye, if you’re not out in five minutes so help me god!”

Cameron can’t do it. Yesterday caused such a ruckus. He just can’t do it. There’s absolutely no reason they can’t have sex after school, beyond Ferris being a little shit. “I’ll see you in class, Ferris.”

He doesn’t see Ferris in class. He doesn’t see him because as he’s going from first to second period, taking his standard shortcut through the smoking doors and to the shops near the parking lot, he gets ambushed. Someone comes up on him from behind and jams a pillowcase on his head. Holding the open edge of it tightly closed at the nape of his neck, the assailant starts to push him.

Naturally, Cameron fights back. He kicks backwards like a mule and starts bellowing. He’ll be goddamned if he’s Albert Fish’s next snack. Except then his other senses kick in through the terror. Namely, sense of smell. Ferris has a very distinctive cologne, a European one that always manages to end up in his hands at the right time, thanks to one of his many admirers. No other guy at this school has it, and Cameron would be willing to bet the whole city. So unless his would be serial killer has ties to Belgium, Cameron knows who this is.

The temptation to tell Ferris to knock this the fuck off, he’s an asshole idiot committing a goddamn crime is high. It’s so rare that Cameron has legit grounds to tell Ferris off. But equally tempting is to just let it happen and worry about the consequences later.

It’s the cest la vie in Cameron that wins. He still struggles, because he has self respect, and also it’s exciting, but gone are the actual attempts to get away. There’s a natural excitement that comes with being physically, mentally, or spiritually manhandled by Ferris. That combined with knowing he’s going to have sex today and this kidnapping is very erotic.

He winds up in the trunk of a car. God only knows whose car this is, which shops guy Ferris worked out a loan from, but the trunk is big enough for him to mostly fit without discomfort. Cameron doesn’t feel too concerned about the safety of it. It can’t be worse than perching on the back of the Spyder while Ferris is driving it through the city.

When Ferris pulls to a stop, Cameron is equal parts curious and turned on. He wants to know what’ll happen next. He wants to know how far Ferris will takes this role playing. The seconds it takes to get the trunk open feel like hours. Even then, Ferris keeps the pillowcase on. Cameron doesn’t get to see anything until he’s been led up a sid walk and a door slammed behind him.

The sheath of fabric leaves his head, finally, once he’s sitting in a wooden kitchen chair. The action taker is Sloane, with a satisfied little smile on her face. Figures she would be Ferris accomplice. They’re always in league together. 

“Cahoots!” Cameron shouts. “J'accuse!” 

“Yeah, yeah, buddy.” Ferris pats him on the shoulder.

“Oh Cameron, we know you liked it. We can see the evidence.” 

There’s only one thing Sloane could be referring too. It would be embarrassing, except everyone in this room knows what they’re here for. If anything, he’s just got a head start.

“I think Sloane liked it too,” Ferris confesses on her behalf. “If I’d known this was such a kink for everyone, I would have started doing it earlier in the year.”

Cameron refuses to acknowledge the implication of repeat performances. Something he’s learned being friends with Ferris for half a decade now; never assume you know what’s going on, you’ll always be wrong. Even if he can keep Ferris’ attention, Ferris Bueller’s horniness does not dictate what Sloane likes or wants.

But she does, apparently, like getting mildly humiliated, because her response to Ferris calling her out is to sweep him into a kiss. And unlike the semi chaste ones Cameron is usually viewer of, this one gets adult, fast. They split just long enough to pull each other’s shirts off, and then they’re back at it, Ferris rocking his groin against her leg. 

Confident that they’re fully entranced with each other, Cameron takes the chance to slip his hand down his jeans. Ferris and Sloane are so brilliant together, sexy and scheming and irreverent. Regardless of their age difference making the next year complicated, he’s sure they’ll always be together. And he’s lucky enough to get to see it.

“Stop that, Cameron.”

“I-” he’s confused. Wasn’t the entire point of this that he could be involved? Hell, Cameron can’t think of a more tame involvement than masturbation. If he’s somehow already crossing a line, then this really isn’t going to happen.

“Either stop jerking off and come over here and touch someone else, or we’ll tie your wrists and ankles to the chair.”

There’s a surprisingly large portion of Cameron that’s intrigued by that. It’d be an interesting continuation of the erotic kidnapping, being forced to watch his captors having sex. If he could say with certainty that he’d get another chance with them, he’d go for it. Really draw out his kidnapping to its natural conclusion. But if this is his only chance with Ferris and Sloane, then he’s earned losing his virginity properly. So he says goodbye to the idea for now -he’ll see it later in his dreams- and stands up to join in the fray.


End file.
